Not without my ziti

Oh Mahmoud, trying to take away your people’s right to watch gluten porn star Giada De Laurentiis randomly pronounce ordinary words with a bad Italian accent. If I were Iranian, this would really push me over the edge. You may take away my freedom, but you can’t take away my Food Network. Seriously, and I’m not kidding here: food comes before fair elections. Banning democracy is one thing, but banning delicious fettucini alfredo and cattiatore? That’s ridiculous. Everyone loves Italian food, everyone. “Persia: when you’re here, you’re probably infidels.”
My Photoshop isn’t working right, so please imagine Sally Field clutching a giant ziti: