Thursday, December 31, 2009

Schoprah's Decadelicious Comparison of the Last Ten Years

Fashion

Then (2000): I was but a mere parcel of the Abercrombie & Fitch state, with plenty of room in the pockets of my cargo-cut jeans for conformity. Lots of wool v-neck sweaters and olive flare pants.













Now (2010): While running errands a few hours ago, I noticed I was one of three young maidens hitting the pavement in dark pants tucked into tall black boots with a long black jacket and scarf. This is the actual uniform of OWLs in Manhattan. Crap...












Politics

Then (2000): I defended our president in class against impeachment for lying about getting a beej. Cut to a year later when I see my prom date on the receiving end of one—not from me...


















Now (2010): Elliot Spitzer. John Edwards. Mark Sanford. Larry Craig. Mark Foley. I curse all of them and their skanky ways! Throw them all in jail. Rude, guys. Rude.

Romance

Then (2000): Hooking up at under-18 clubs. (Soma!) 

Now (2010): Hooking up at bars.

Spirits

Then (2000): Stole half-used 10-year-old liquers (Cherry Schnapps) from my parents; stored in small Tupperwear containers which I ducktaped to my stomach and wore underneath a large sweater when leaving the house.

Now (2010): Forties in my purse. Progress!

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